After a thorough study of my self, i’ve come to a realization that i am an extrovert introvert, i can not say am ambivert because my being alone is involuntary (i have no close friends in this city to fill in the gap).
Let me explain maybe you may correct me if am wrong;
I literally feel like this sometimes when i join certain meetups lol
Whenever am by my self i get depressed craving for Company and because of this, i normally choose to go out in quest for friendships. It is on rare occasions that i enjoy my own comapany. So this is a clear reason i am not an introvert.
I hate being alone, i tend to find last minute plans to hang out solo in new places but when i reach there, i tend to feel so uncomfortable,restless because all eyes are on me, i get anxious wondering what people are thinking about me ” why is this girl out here all by her Self?” And in Dubai it’s worse since Africans are stereotyped in a certain way,it gets more Awkward.
When i meet new people for the first time, i tend to be shy and anxious but when i get to know them and get comfortable, i can be very talkative and fun to be around with.
I also tend to go into self pity mood when i see cliques having fun and am all by my self…eventually i get up and go back home because i can’t handle the self pity. When reach i reach home and take a shower i feel relieved.
I Don’t make the first move whenever i meet potential friends-i always wait for them to speak first and from their, i tend to open up. Because of this, i loose out on an opportunity to connect with like minded people. On rare occasions, i can make the first move by saying Hi(only when i get a smiling,friendly look from a potential friend). This is the same situation even on when i choose to find friends online, i don’t make the first move. Overall I think it is because of the fear of Rejection that i tend to sit back and wait.
I do have a friends back in Uganda and the close friends i have in Dubai stay far away from me plus the work shifts makes it hard for us to meet often hence my quest for new friendships. I must say, it is really hard to make friends as an adult.
I feel like Pride and fear of Rejection is the reason as to why am not a full extrovert but am hopeful that one day i will overcome my fears.
Going out solo can be tough on some days and good on other days. I have made new friends,networked,enjoyed my own company, i’ve visited many beautiful places in this city. Bottom line, it’s all about being confident and doing you. I can not put my life on hold just because My Husband or Family,close friends here live Miles & hours apart from me(working Shift jobs), my life has to go on…i will continue going out alone until i find a group of friends i feel comfortable to hang with. What people think of me is their business not mine.
In conclusion, i can not say am 100% extrovert or 100% introvert because like i’ve explained above,makes me 50, 50 of both. My advice to you my Lovelies is….just be your self and be proud of who God made you to be and the right people who are meant to be in your life will come along. Do not let any body change who God created you to be. It’s not worth faking a personality to fit in…be you and Conquer the world.
Are you an introvert or Extrovert or Ambivert/Extrovert Introvert like me? Let me know in the comments section below and let me know how you survive day in day out.